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Wuemsel's Fanfic Corner

Stakeouts, Traffic Jams, Nancy, ... - Drabbles and Snippets


These are some drabbles, double-drabs, triplets, snippets, etc. I wrote some time ago for DrabWeds on the shfanfic group.

"Yuck! Starsk, youīre really gonna EAT this?!"
"You have to ask?"
"Aw cīmon! This stuff looks disgusting! Iīm not even sure itīs food."
"Well, itīs wrapped in paper."
"So what, everything wrapped in pa-"
"Whateverīs wrapped in paper in my pockets is something to eat,
okay?! `Sides, Iīm hungry!"
"Youīve done nothing but eat this whole stakeout long."
"`Kay, so Iīm also bored! We spent the entire day staring at those
youngsters! I bet theyīre already asleep! Iīm on the edge of walking
over there and buying the stuff myself just so you can arrest someone
and we can go!"
"At least thatīd be fun. But youīre exaggerating. Itīs only been a
few ... hours."
"A FEW hours?!"
"Anyway, just because youīre bored, doesnīt mean youīve to eat
everything you find in your car, you know."
"In my pockets! And what do you care, whoīre you, my mother? No one
asked you to look after my eating habits."
"Actually your mother did."
"Wha... Oh, thatīs so funny, Blintz. Really. Iīm laughing. On the in-"
"-side. I mean, sure, maybe the stuff doesnīt look that great-"
"-and it smells kinda strange too-"
"Theyīre here."
"The guys, dummy!"
"Hutch, what is this?"
"Youīll like it. Try it."
"I didnīt ask you if Iīll like it, I asked you what it is."
"Just try it."
"If I tell you what it is, you wonīt eat it. Now shut up and swallow
your lunch!"
"Why did you get to choose the place, anyway? Weīre already using
your pathetic excuse for a car!"
"Itīs not my fault it was my turn."
"There should be a law against anyone having to eat smelly stuff like
this in a thing like this!"
"Wow, thatīs exactly the same thing I thought yesterday."
"Pick a card."
"Oh please, someone just hit me unconscious?"
"Cīmon, itīll be fun! Pick a card."
"Iīll keep on whining til you picked-"
"Okay! Here! I picked ... Starsk, thatīs a monopoly card."
"Yeah. What does it say?"
"Shouldnīt you be the one telling me?"
"With monopoly cards?! Sometimes youīre weird, Hutch."
*sigh* "It says I won 5000."
"Yes! That means I get to chose the place for lunch."
"Itīs the rules."
"What rules?"
"Of this game."
"WHAT game?!"
"The one I invented."
"Station? This is Zebra 3, I want a new partner."
"Youīre such a bad loser!"
"Hey, play somethinī?"
"Starsk, you parked the car three minutes ago. Itīs impossible to get
bored within three minutes."
*sigh* "I forgot who I was talking to."
"Right. Letīs play chain of associations."
"Canīt I just guess cards again?"
"Nope, theyīre in your car. Cīmon, itīll be fun. Iīll start. - Food."
"Just try it!"
"I am. Thatīs my association with food."
"Oh. Very funny."
*sigh* "Hutch-"
"No, you canīt say the same thing twice.
"Maybe this wasnīt such a good idea ..."
"Hey, Iīm starting to like it. Your turn."
"Hutch, yeah? - Irritating."
"Okay, Hutch, pick a number."
*sigh* "Got one."
"What - no whining beforehand?"
"Would whining keep you from driving me nuts?"
"So please just guess the damn number."
"Any number, right?"
"Uh ... Iīm guessing ... 12650."
"Wow. Thatīs it."
"Youīre humorinī me, arenīt you?"
"Who, me?"
"Cīmon, Hutch, Iīm trying to learn something here! You could at least
help me!"
"I am. You got the right number. Congrats. Now concentrate on that
warehouse again."
"Pick another one."
*sigh* "Got one."
"Wow, right again, buddy."
"I canīt help it! Youīre a genius!"
"Oh? Pick another one."
"This reminds me of a movie Iīve seen."
"Yes, Iīm here. PLEASE tell me about that movie."
"There were those two guys watching this old warehouse, and it was
really boring, like-"
"Starsky, that wasnīt a film, that was our yesterday! And the day
before that and the day before and-"
"Yeah, itīs getting pretty boring, huh?"
"Wanna play someth-"
"I just asked."
"Weīve done nothing but playing stupid games for SIX DAYS now! Iīm sick of playing games! Iīm sick of watching this damn house! Iīm-"
"Youīre not going into hysterics, are you?"
*deeeeep breath* "Nooo, but-"
"Hey, Hutch, isnīt that the flake weīve been waiting for?"
"Yes! Finally!"
--- ("Zebra 3, please respon-")
"Zebra 3 is BUSY!"
"Hutch. Maybe itīs important."
"And if itīs the four horsemen riding into town - donīt you dare
drive away! Iīm gonna arrest that guy TODAY! `Cause if I have to
spend just ONE more day with you guessing numbers, cards, animals,
ANYTHING, I swear Iīm gonna strangle you myself!"
--- ("Zebra 3, please respond.")
"Uh ... St-station? Hello? This is zebra 3. We canīt hear you. Hello?"
"Good boy, Starsky. Now letīs go and get it over with."
"Anything you say, boss."
Hutch sighed happyly when Starsky held the door open for him.
"Aaah, feels good to be home."
"You tellinī me," Starsky stated, as he followed his still exhausted
looking friend inside. "One more day of this hospital food..."
Shooting his friend a glance, Hutch grinned, and, catching it,
Starsky shrugged.
"Hey, I couldnīt let my buddy eat that stuff, right?"
"Yeah, right," Hutch nodded amusedly. He approached the couch,
stopping when he noticed a neatly folded blanket and a pillow on it.
His gaze wandering up to meet his partnerīs again, he raised his
brows questioningly.
"Oh. Ahm ..." Starsky stuttered, turning to head towards the
kitchen. "Your place is nearer to the hospital, ya know?"
"Hm-hm. Sure," Hutch smiled and sat down, leaning back and closing
his eyes. "Sure it is."
It didnīt take him a second to fall asleep, his head lolling to one
side, his body curling up unconsciously on the couch.
When Starsky turned again, a warm smile spread on his face at the
sight of his peacefully sleeping friend. Carefully, he picked up the
blanket to cover Hutch with it.
"Welcome home, buddy."
BEAUTIFUL THOUGHTS (set after "Starskyīs Lady")
"Hey, you asleep?" Hutch asked softly, reaching out to
stroke his curled up partnerīs hair.
"No," came the mumbled reply. "Donīt wanna sleep."
"Iīll be here if you have a dream-"
"I donīt want to sleep."
"Buddy, youīre exhausted. You need to rest."
"I need her."
Hutch sighed, sitting down on the cauch next to
Starsky. "I know you do."
"Itīs been over a week now," Starsky said through a
sob, "and it still hurts so much."
"Shhh, I know, babe," Hutch soothed. "I know."
"And I ... I want to think about her, but ... it just
hurts too much."
Not knowing what else to do, Hutch wrapped his suffering friend in a comforting hug. "Come here. Shh,
itīs okay. Iīm here."
"I donīt want to be afraid of thinking of her, Hutch. She doesnīt deserve that."
"Itīll get better, buddy," Hutch whispered assuringly. "I promise. Itīll get better."
"Starsk, whatīre you doing?"
"Itīs my turn to choose a place for lunch."
"I know, but - you canīt park here."
"Why not?"
"Itīs in second row. You canīt park in the middle of the street."
"Well, thereīs no other parking space, and Iīm hungry. Letīs go."
"You canīt park here!"
"Listen, Iīm a cop at work, and Iīm hungry."
"So this is an emergency parking. Besides, cops always find parking
spaces. Donīt you ever watch tv?"
*sigh* "Howīs the guy there supposed to drive away with you blocking
his car?!"
"He can join us. Now letīs go. Iīm hungry."
MEETING NANCY (set shortly before "Gillian")
"Starsky! Donīt draw your gun on her!" Chuckling, Hutch leant back
against the stuck Torino, watching his partner storming
over to the owner of the reason for his carīs condition.
"Hey!" the detective yelled at the young woman. "You! That your car?"
"Hi," she greeted him sweetly. "Yes. Why?"
"Wh... Well in case you havenīt noticed youīve parked IN FRONT of
another car! Which happens to be mine!"
Confused, she looked over his shoulder at the car and Hutch, who
winked at her.
"That carīs yours?"
"Oh. I thought it was just standing there. I didnīt think someone
would actually drive it."
While aware of Hutchīs loud laughing, Starsky wondered if she was for real.
"I mean," she continued, "it looks like a striped tomato or somethinī."
A low thud could be heard when Hutch, doubling over with laughter,
fell from where heīd been sitting on the car.
"Listen Miss, Iīm a cop, `kay? So youīre standing in the way of a police car!"
"Youīre a cop?!"
"Oh what?"
"You donīt look like one."
"Uh ..."
"You know, Iīd love to stay and chat, but Iīve to go now. Bye."
"Yeah, `kay. B... HEY! What `bout my car?!"
"Hey Starsk, want to come over to my place after weīre finished here? Couple of beers, monopoly, what dīyou say?"
"Sounds great, but I already have other plans."
"Do I know her?"
"Oh? Who is it?"
"Nancy who?"
"Nancy Parking Queen."
"THAT girl?!"
"Well ... uh ... yeah."
"Youīre dating THAT girl?!"
"You make it sound like Iīm committing a crime or something. Sheīs really nice."
"Sure she is, but, I mean, she INSULTED the Torino. Last time I checked that WAS a crime."
"She insulted it in a nice, affectionate way."
"Iīve insulted the car with exactly the same words for years now, and you never asked me out."
"I feared you would reject me, babe."
"Aw! Iīd never."
"Ha, ha. Besides, I didnīt do the asking-out-part."
"SHE asked YOU?!"
"Ya know, you really should consider your tone of voice today..."
" `Sjust - why would she ask YOU out?!"
"Hey! I happen to be cute!"
"Sure yīare, honey, but you yelled at her."
"In a cute, affecti-"
"Okay, okay, I get the picture. So whereīre you going?"
"The toy fair! Isnīt that cool?! Her idea!"
"Toys. Wow, if sheīs not the perfect girl for you..."
"I know!" *grin*
"Hutch - whatīre you doing?!"
"Trying to get that spider there on your knee."
"The WHAT on my WHAT?!"
"The spider on your ... uh, upper leg. Hold still-"
"Starsk! Keep your eyes on the road!!"
"Take it off me!"
"Iīm trying! Stop wrig... Starsky! Truck!"
"I swear, the day you run us into a truck Iīm gonna
kick your head, even with all my bones broken."
"Where is it?!"
"Aw, I knew I shouldnīt have told you."
"TELL me?! How long has it been sitting there?!"
"Uh ..."
"Take it off!!!"
"Yeah, yeah, Iīm trying, yīkn ... Starsky! Thatīs a one-way street..."
"Okay, your roles are as follows: doctor, patient. Any questions?"
"Yeah, Iīve got one, Cap."
*sigh* "Of course. What?"
"Why does Hutch get to be doctor?"
"Because white suits him better than you."
"Besides, youīll have less trouble making friends with the natives than me, Starsk."
"Hardy ha ha. I say we throw a coin."
"Cīmon Starsk, youīre just grumpy about the whole thing. If I was to
be patient youīd be complaining about me having all the fun."
"Iīm going to a cookie jar, Blintz! How much fun can that possibly be?!"
"Drugs for free?"
"Thatīs not funny!"
"Aw, you know Iīd never let anything happen to you, Gordo."
"And if they shock me while youīre not looking?"
"Then thereīll be at least some good coming out of-"
"Thatīs not funny, Cap!"
"Starsky, stop whining! Youīre the patient and thatīs that. No oneīd believe youīre a doctor."
"Hey! I coulda been one if-"
"If you sat in front in school, I know, buddy."
"Exactly. But no, `COURSE I had to sit in the back, and of course Iīm not a doctor, but a patient today!"
"Hm. Coming to think about it, I sat in front, you know?"
"Oh great, Iīm being treated by the nerd."
"Will you two get to work now, please?!"
"Sure Cap. Cīmon buddy. If you behave yourself, maybe I wonīt have to put you in restrains."
"Hey! Thatīs-"
"-not funny, I know."
"And stop grinning like that! I think youīre enjoying this already!"
"Who, me?"
"Hey," Hutch whispered and carefully closed the door behind him to
avoid anyone overhearing the conversation. "How did the race go?"
"Lost," Starsky replied from where he lay curled up on his bed, his eyes already half-closed.
Frowning at his friendīs slurred voice, Hutch stepped nearer. "Buddy, you okay?"
"Yeah, `mfine. Tired."
As realization dawned, Hutch sighed in frustration. "Did they sedate you again?"
Nodding in slow-motion, Starsky mumbled: "I really kinda start to hate..."
He couldnīt even finish his sentence, before artifical sleep claimed him, and his features went slack.
Taking off the glasses to rub his eyes, Hutch gently drew the blanket that covered his friend up to his nose,
letting a concerned look rest on him for a moment.
"Me too, buddy," he finally whispered and softly stroke through his partnerīs unruly curls before turning to go.
"Starsk, cīmon, I know youīre upset about this, but
will you please (!) stop hitting my dash-board! This carīs sensitive!"
"Car he calls this!"
"You ever considered WALKING?! The exercise wouldnīt do you any harm, yīknow."
"Whatīs that supposed to mean?"
"Well - when was the last time you chased a criminal for three blocks?"
"Oh. Right. But you were pretty exhausted afterwards, werenīt you?"
"Contrary to a certain someone who waited in the car?"
"Weīre not talking about me here. I am fit."
"What, and Iīm n... Oh, why am I falling for this? Youīre just trying to distract me!"
"And it works."
"Not a chance. Iīm not going to sit here and discuss my health with you when my-"
"Oh, hey, look, a new diner! How `bout we stop there and have a couple of hamburgers? You hungry?"
"Youīre trying everything, huh?"
"Iīll buy."
"No! Now stop that and drive! Weīre only losing time!"
--- ("Attention all units. We have two suspects on 4th Street, just driving off in a blue sedan. Atten-")
"This is Zebra 3, we are responding."
"Hutch, whatīre you doing?"
"Thatīs right here `round the corner."
"So - weīre responding."
"And howīs THAT gonna help us find my car?!"
"Did I mention Iīm NOT having fun, yet?!"
"No. You did mention, though, that you think this is about the
dumbest idea Iīve ever had, and that you will throw every snake that
happens to crawl into your sleeping bag into my face."
"Oh. Good. - Iīm NOT having fun yet."
"Buddy, you gonna love this, trust me. Fresh air, water, trees! No
noises, no smog, no-"
"-electricity? No tv? No zivilisation?!"
"My point exactly. - Dīyou hear that?"
"What, are we attacked by something already?"
"No, dummy, the quiet around you. Listen."
"All I hear is that funny noise your car always makes when Iīm sitting in it."
"Thatīs the engine."
"Thatīs the engine choking out its last breath."
"Anyone ever told you youīre really the person one wants to have for company on a vacation?"
"Yeah, and she was definately a better driver than y... Hutch! - Why dīyou stop like tha...? - Oh. `Triffic. I knew it. Wherever you drag me to, I can be sure thereīs a bear already waiting for us."
"Uh ... whatīre we gonna do now?"
"Hm. Turn around?"
"Oh no. Iīm not goning to let a BEAR ruin my vacation! Hold on to something."
"Uh ... Hut... Hutch!"
"Hutch, you asleep?"
"Hmmmm ...?"
"You asleep?"
"Not anymore! Whatīs the matter?!"
"I canīt sleep."
"You wake me up to tell me you canīt sleep?!"
"Oh, did I wake you up? Iīm sorry, I thought you were just dozing."
"Starsk, itīs ... five in the morning. No oneīs DOZING at that time! Why arenīt you asleep?"
"I canīt. I keep hearing noises."
"Then shut up, and they will stop."
"No, really. I think I heard a bear."
"There are no bears in this area of the park, Gordo. Now go back to sleep."
"But I heard something growling."
"Probably lack of sleep. Youīre hallucinating. Go back to sleep."
"Gna, gna, gna, go back to sleep, gna, gna, gna ... never wanted to come here in the first place ... sleeping on the ground ... bears in the morning ... no tv-"
"Starsky, shut up!"
"Whatever you hear, itīs probably just something snoring, so go back
to sleep. And if itīs a bear, count it."
"Ooookay, thatīs it."
"Hey, where are you going? Starsky?"
"Iīm outta here."
"Cīmon, itīs probably just-"
"Iīll go sleep in the car."
"Hmpf. Chicken."
*louder growl*
"Uh ... hey, wait... I think I have the keys, Starsk."
"I hate this car!"
"Hey, no need to get personal. Itīs just too hot again. No big deal. Now come here and help pushing."
"What dīyou mean uh-uh?!"
"I mean uh-uh. Iīm not touching this ... You know, when you canīt drive it anymore, it isnīt even a real car! Then itīs JUST ugly!"
"Will you cut out this crap and help me, please, before the crowd behind us starts throwing things?!"
"Nope. Your tomato. You push."
"Cīmon, Hutch-"
"`Sides, I think itīs only faking. Lazy piece of-"
"Donīt say it! And come back here! Hutch!"
*door bangs shut*
"Iīm so glad we took your car, Hutch."
"Oh shut up."
"No really. What with this heat ... People would skin us alive if we broke down with the Torino again in the middle of the stree-"
"Will you shut up?! And donīt touch the window!"
"Why, will it cumble beneath my fingers?"
"No, but you might accidentally open it, and I donīt want the crowd rushing inside!"
"Theyīre really mad, huh?"
"Oh really?! How dīyou figure that?! Just because theyīre throwing stones at the us?!"
"Donīt snap at me, Blintz! Itīs YOUR car!"
"I wonder whatīs taking the breakdown service so long."
"Maybe theyīre afraid. - You know, maybe if you went out and explained, theyīd help."
"Or at least they would work out their anger just on you."
"Love you too, buddy."
--- ("Zebra 3, Zebra 3, come in please.")
"Zebra 3.- What d you want?!"
"Hey, cīmon, give me that. Itīs not her fault youīre driving garbage on wheels. - What is it, sweetheart?"
--- ("Hi Starsky.")
"Oh my ... Will you just ask her what-"
--- ("We have a probable violent crowd on Hyde Street. A bypasser called in to report a planned assault on a brownish-green LT-")
"Thatīs US, station!"
--- ("Oh ... Guess youīre responding then." *giggle*)
"Yes, we ARE! - Starsk, will you stop laughing?! Weīre in danger!"
"Headline news, Blintz. Weīre sitting in your car!"
"So whatīre we gonna do?"
"Donīt know `bout you, but Iīm getting out. Maybe they need some help there with the... assault."
"Wha... Hey, wait! Starsk! Starsky!!!"
THE SAME FEELING (set after "A Coffin for Starsky")
"Whereīre we going?" I asked, when Starsky suddenly turned left where he was supposed to drive to the right.
"Your place," he replied, casting me a glance.
There it was. Iīd waited for that sentence for days now, but at the same time Iīd known Starsky would play along just a little longer to
make me feel better. Yet of course this had to happen sooner or later.
My vote would have been for later, though.
"I still have one clean shirt left," I joked, not wanting to give in so easily, though I knew in the end he would win, anyway. It was time.
The shocked glance he shot me made me chuckle.
"What, honeybunch, moving together too fast for you?"
"I just want my couch back," he replied, his dry tone masking his real concern. "No to mention a night without your snoring."
I smiled, looking down. There hadnīt been much chances to snore for me the last days.
"Itīs okay, Hutch," Starsky continued, when I remained silent. "Itīs not going to happen again. Iīm okay."
I nodded grimly. How could he be so damn sure? So damn calm? The guy had been in his APARTMENT, for Christīs sake! Heīd been
attacked in his sleep! He was the one who should have nightmares and check the door three times at night.
But no, it was me doing that. Me having the nightmares. Dreams of Starsky dying in my arms in that alley, dreams that left me screaming
out for him, clinging to him, when he woke me just to make sure he was really there, really alive.
How the hell could he be so calm when at the same time I was terrified?!
"Hutch," he said, squeezing my shoulder to get my attention. Iīd been
so lost in thoughts I hadnīt even noticed weīd arrived at my place already.
I looked up. He smiled assuringly.
"Go get some sleep, Blintz. You look terrible."
I wanted to reply something, crack a joke, maybe even beg for just one more stay, but looking into the mirror of his eyes I suddenly saw myself - and frowned.
I knew that look.
It was the same Iīd seen on Starskyīs face, days after Forest, when I had told him to go get some sleep instead of looking out for me all the time. Heīd been so exhausted after all the nights on my couch, watching tv to keep himself from falling asleep, that heīd been as close to a breakdown as ... I was right now, I figured.
It had been exactly the same look on his face that I saw on mine. And I understood. I had been the calm one back then, I hadnīt had nightmares, hadnīt been paranoid.
Because Iīd known Starsky was there. Looking out for me. No need to be afraid.
Closing my eyes briefly, I nodded and got out of the car slowly. "Donīt forget-"
"-to lock the door. I know, Hutch."
"-to call you when I get home."
"Yeah," I said, still holding the door open, still refusing to leave  him. "And ..." But I couldnīt think of anything else to say. So I closed the door and turned.
"Hutch," his voice hold me back.
He didnīt say anything, just looked at me and smiled.
Understanding, I smiled back. 'Youīre welcome, buddy. And thank you too.'


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