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Wuemsel's Fanfic Corner

Traffic Jam


"Starsk, will you please stop sounding your horn like that!"

"All the others are doin' it."

"But I'm not sitting in all the others' cars."

"That could be arranged."

"Edgy, aren't we?"

"No. Stuck. And what idiot caused this, anyway?! I hope at least his car's scrap now!"

"Oh c'mon, maybe the guy got hurt."

"If not I volunteer!"


"Hey, maybe we could get the siren on. They're bound to..."

" away with their cars then? Look around, gordo, where could they drive to to let us through?"

"That's their problem."

"Hey, take your hands off the horn, will ya?! Why don't we... play a game? Hm? Guess a number."

"I don't wanna guess a number, I want to drive on! This car was not made for standing still."

"No shit."

"Honest, I can feel it suffering."

"No, Starsk, that's me."




"I'm guessing 12."

"Ididn't think of a number. Try again, Starsky."

"You didn't... You could have just said yes, you know."

"But I didn't... Oh look, there's some movement going on."



"Great, how much was that? One inch? Two?"

"At least we moved, Starsky. -- You want to guess again? I got one now."

"No, I think I'll stick to the hooting and swearing."

"Hey, why don't we guess the other drivers' professions, hm? That's fun."

"The other dri... You know, Hutch, I never noticed before that sitting in an unmoving vehicle effects your brain in a strange way. Next time we're on a stakeout, you sit outside."

"Ha, ha. I mean it. That's fun. My sister and I used to play that when we were in a traffic jam on our family tours."

"Guessing the other drivers' professions."


"That's dump."

"No, you'll like it. I promise. Uh... see the guy there, next to us? In the blue sedan? I'd say he's a... librarian."

"Hutch, that's one of the guys we busted in this Asian restaurant last month."

"Oh. Well, 'kay, but he looks like a librarian."

"No, he looks like a drug dealer."

"You know, for someone as immature as you are, you have a poor fantasy."

"Ha, ha. -- Hey, you think the kids over there on the backseat of the riv play that too?"

"Maybe. Why?"

"What d'you think they say we are?"

"Well, from what your car looks like..."

"Safe the breath."

"I don't know. Cops?"

"Everytime we meet someone new we're told we don't look like cops and you think two kids would notice immediately from the backseat of a car?!"

"Okay, what do you think?"

"Something cool."

"And what's cool?"

"Actors. Or musicians. Or..."

"You know, what I just said about your fantasy? I take it back."

"That's what your problem is, Hutch, you have no self-confidence. I bet they think we're cool."

"Is that why they're making faces at us?"

"Huh? Hm. I never liked kids, anyway."

"Hey, I think we're moving again."

"Oh joy! -- Another inch."